He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
