you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
