He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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