I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
