when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
