My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
