I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
