actually, I'm a sock model
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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