Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
