Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
