careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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