from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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