Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
