I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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