You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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