used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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