Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
