marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
