I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
