three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
