Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
