Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
