thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
