my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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