Well apparently he's into motor boating.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
