the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
