Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
