I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
