y did u give ur computer a hand job?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
