Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
