Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
