he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
