My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
