I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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