sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
