I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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