Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
