No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
