i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
