Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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