Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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