after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
