Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
