fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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