Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
