Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
