another moral hangover. fuck.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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