look no pants
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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