I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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