Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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