I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
