Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
